Friday, August 31, 2007

My Story, Part 3

My Story, Part 1, 2, 3

One thing I haven't mentioned was when I was about 12 I found myself fantasizing about women. Just wanting to be around them, not doing anything sexual. Just wanting to be good friends. I started to shy away from the other girls I thought were cute, ones I had infatuations about. I didn't know what or why I was having these feelings.

When I was 16 I read a book about Janis Joplin and I figured out I was a lesbian. I didn't know what to do about this. I kept seeing my boyfriend (who I didn't like sex with). We didn't drink or drug.

So I went to college and got married to my boyfriend. (I told him I was a lesbian and he said I'd grow out of it.)

I started working a job in the carpet industry as an industrial engineer and went to school nights.
I did really well at work and school. I kept getting promoted at work. My last promotion was to a department run by a man named Jeff. He introduced me to crank/crystal meth. We also had an affair. We would constantly go to clubs downtown drinking and drugging. I thought for the first time in my life that I belonged. But I still wanted women.

My Story, Part 1, 2, 3

Thursday, August 30, 2007

My Story, Part 2

My Story, Part 1, 2, 3

After this first buzz I would sometimes find wherever my Mother's Dad was hiding his liquor and me and my brother would drink it. Sometimes I would also drink the beer that was in the tool shed refrigerator. But I would just only drink til I got a buzz, never enough to get drunk.

My Mother got cancer when I was a freshman in high school. She had surgery then got chemo and radiation. She never was exactly well after that. She had a remission period but was always sickly after that. I had to cook and clean after that and it didn't give me time for many extracurricular activities at school.

The last Christmas she was alive I was 17 and we went to my grandmother's house for Christmas eve. My uncle poured me a drink and I drank it and a whole lot more. I got really sick from the booze and stayed up all night. My Mother had been sleeping on the couch for days. She would sleep sitting up because she had lung cancer and couldn't lay down and not cough. We sat together and watched "The Trouble with Angels" a movie on TV. We talked and my mom was honest with me that she would die soon and I had to go on to college and have a good life.

She died in the middle of January (the 17th). I had to pick out the coffin, arrange for the service and pick out clothes for my Mother to wear. I had to go shopping for my brother so he would have something to wear to the service. My aunts helped me. My Dad couldn't be bothered.

After my Mother died my Father started coming to my door and scratching on it to try and get me to open up. It scared me. So I moved in with one of my cousins to get me through high school. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA.

That summer I spent with my Aunt in Florida. They owned a fishing camp with a boat, cabins, and some convention store.

My uncle taught me to drink beer. I got drunk a couple of times.

When fall came I went to my grandmother's and started college.

My Story, Part 1, 2, 3

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Not the sharpest pencils in the box

Some of the people I have met here in the jail are, well to put it bluntly, not the sharpest pencils in the box. And I don't mean just the inmates. Things might have been different had they had an Innovative Tutor like can be found at SCORE! I know I don't want my kids to turn out that way, so I intend to take advantage of the programs SCORE! has.

There are special programs in reading, writing, math, and study skills that can help my kids out. I intend to sign my kids up for these innovative tutoring programs.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Story, Part 1

My Story, Part 1, 2, 3

I was born at Fort McPherson in Atlanta, Georgia. I grew up in a middle class family. My Dad was a postman and my Mother stayed at home. I had a brother Chuck, who was 2 years younger. We lived in the suburbs of Atlanta.

My Mother always told me I wasn't good enough. She was always comparing me to the other girls in the community. She called me "backward" a lot which I guess is true because I have always been an introvert.

My parents didn't drink and there was never any alcohol in the house.

As far as alcoholics in my extended family go I had one grandmother (Dad side) of the family and two grandfathers that drank to excess. My Father's brother was a big alcoholic as well as two uncles on my Mom's side as well as one of my Mother's sisters. I guess you can say I come by alcoholism naturally.

When I was 12 or 13 my grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. My relatives were celebrating with pink champagne. I got a glass. that was leftover and this was my first drink. I drank maybe three leftover cups and I got my first buzz.

My Story, Part 1, 2, 3

Monday, August 27, 2007

Jail Math

When will I get out? Jail time is a hard thing to add up in my head. It is as if we all need Math Tutors to help us figure out how much time we will spend in here.

I have a friend who spent 30 days in jail on the weekends, so he had 10 weekends to serve where he spent Friday and Saturday night in jail with each stay lasting 48 hours. At first glance I counted 10 times 2, or 20 days, but apparently I was wrong and it was 30 days. If I had a misdemeanor DUI and had six months to serve, then I would be out in three months.
As it is, I have 12 months to serve and I think I am supposed to serve every day of it. I just can't figure out the math.

My children will go to SCORE! so they can have a math tutor who can help them figure all of this out. I would not want them to be stuck and not know how to figure out the length of time for their sentence in jail.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

My Friend April

Today is Saturday. I slept til 11 am. On Saturdays and Sundays we get to sleep in. Then we watch movies. This unit is so much better than General Population.

Today I learned how to play rummy. I found it to be pretty boring. I like poker better.

I started my canteen requests today. I have to stop ordering so much stuff. I ordered ramen noodles, a hair removal cream, and a comb. I also got a bag of pretzels and some oatmeal.

I walked for over an hour today with my new friend April. She is also in here on a DUI charge as well as a possession charge. She is a lesbian (as I am) and has a girlfriend she is desperately afraid will dump her - They met each other in jail and have been together for four years. The girlfriend Lisa has done three years in prison.

It scares me that most of the women here keep coming back to jail. We have 14 people in the community and only two of us have never been to jail. I think I will kill myself before I come back to jail.

Well its 6:30 pm and time to lock down.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Alzheimer's Walk Team Captains

Remember to sign up early as a Team Captain for the Alzheimer's Memory Walk for Charity.

I'm concerned about Alzheimer's disease not only because I know one day I too will be old, but because I know what it is like to have memory loss. As an alcoholic I have blackouts where I remember nothing. There are many gaps in my memory now, and I don't even have Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer’s disease is a brain disorder named for German physician Alois Alzheimer, who first described it in 1906. More than 5 million Americans now have Alzheimer’s. Although symptoms can vary widely, the first problem many people notice is forgetfulness severe enough to affect their work, lifelong hobbies or social life.

It is a common and serious brain disease. It gets worse over time. It is the most common form of dementia. It has no current cure.

The Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk® is the nation's largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer care, support and research – and it calls on volunteers of all ages to become champions in the fight against Alzheimer's. There are walks in more than 600 communities. A typical Memory Walk is a 2-3 mile walk held on a weekend morning in the fall.

By teaming up with the Alzheimer's Association, you can walk with a purpose – and move us closer to a world without Alzheimer's. Together, we can MOVE a nation.

You want to sign up early as a Team Captain so that you have time to complete your fundraising. This year more than 200,000 people will be participating in the Alzheimer's Memory Walk. There are walks in more than 600 communities. A typical Memory Walk is a 2-3 mile walk held on a weekend morning in the fall.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Four Weeks of Monarch

I feel really strange today. I am feeling anxious and nervous I am thinking about the past too much.

We had a fight in the women's general population the other night. They shut the whole jail down when that happens. Fortunately it was at night so just went to sleep.

In our unit the other night a girl had one of her pictures picked up and destroyed (tearing it into little pieces and throwing it in the trash.) So we got locked down because no one would own up to it. The deputy thinks it was the girl who tore up her own picture.

Then we to a group of really young (early 20's) girls who sit and joke and make fun of people both in and out of the meetings. They are especially cruel to some of the women who bring Alcoholics Anonymous meetings into the unit. So we all got a long lecture on behaving properly yesterday. - Then we went to another group and they started acting out again. I just hope only they get in trouble instead of the whole unit.

Well, I have completed four weeks of Monarch (comes before ACT) now. Only four more to go. They say when you hit ACT time really goes by fast. I hope so.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Reading Tutors

Have you ever thought your child needed help from Reading Tutors?

I would not know how to live if my child did not have the ability to read fast with great comprehension of the material. I read all the time. Here in jail I sometimes read four books a day. I could not live without being able to read. I want my child to have good reading skills as well.

Score uses fiction and non fiction materials to promote reading skills. They have a multi-level program that starts with their Advantage program, and if needed moves to the SCORE! Personal Academic Tutoring.

Even though my child has a basic grasp of reading fundamentals, the tutors at Score can help my child exceed the basic levels and achieve academic success.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Looking out my window

Today I am really feeling like I'm not going to make it in here. My mind is still foggy from the alcohol and I know I need about 6 months of uninterrupted sobriety to stay sober when I get out. I'll probably have eight or nine months when I get out of here. That is a good amount of time to have under your belt. Still when I think of the time it seems so overwhelming.

Three people are about to leave and go home. So we have three new people in. One of them likes to read so we have been exchanging books.

I tried to call my cousin Robert, but he does not answer the phone. He hasn't come by for a visit since a week ago yesterday. He was going to Atlantic City the past weekend. I hope nothing is wrong.

I've been looking out the window a lot. I'm not keen on the summer months, the heat always bothers me but fall is coming and I like the fall. There really aren't any trees in my view so I won't get to see the changing of the weather. At least I'll be able to see the snow in the winter. Hopefully I will be out in February.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Cheap Flights to Canada

If I were to beak out of jail here, where could I go? How about Canada? It worked for the folks who wanted to avoid Vietnam. I've only got a DUI. Surely the good folks in Canada can be forgiving of my crime.

There is a company called DialAFlight that offers Flights to Canada, apparently cheaply. They commonly have flights to Toronto from London. All I have to do is figure out how to get from Washington, DC to London and soon I will have my freedom and enjoy the first of many Holidays to Canada.

Even if I can't break out of the jail here, I can still use flights to Canada to avoid my probation. DailAFlight offers Cheap Flights that will allow me to not only visit Toronto, but also see the
nearby Niagara Falls. And the Arlington probation office will not supervise me if I am living out of state. So I am looking forward to using Toronto Flights as a way to escape my legal difficulties here.

If I get lucky, they will have good Holiday Offers available the month I get out, (that means vacation offers to those of you who don't speak British.) Since I am from Georgia, I can visit Calgary, the home of the Atlanta Flames Hockey team. It will be new and exciting and maybe they will even let me have a driver's license since I can't get one here.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Another Day in Paradise

Well today I got in trouble for not having a bra on. I hate wearing bras but I have been wearing one on & off. The trouble today was I was washing it. Still they are going to try and get me another one from property. There are no men anywhere in sight so I don't know what the big deal is.

I am feeling especially nervous today. I try to put things in perspective but it doesn't work. I have to do 8 weeks in Monarch then 4 months of 16 weeks in ACT. Then it will take me another 3 weeks to get out of here. So far I am on the 3rd week so I will be 1/2 way through Monarch at the end of next week. Then after I do 1 month in ACT I will be 1/2 way through.

I haven't cried since I have been here. They are making me write an autobiography which is the same as telling your story. Considering all the treatment centers I have been through I have written an autobiography many times & it usually drives me to tears. This time it is like I am just over it, like I have no regrets.

Today is Monday so we just finished the weekend. The weekends here are pretty good cause you get to sleep in til 11:00 am both days. We have only a couple of groups & they bring in movies to watch. They don't do that in general population.

Anyway its just another day in paradise.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Help with starting a corporation

My online business is starting to take off. I think I made around $36 last month from PayPerPost, LOL. Maybe I made a little more. I have PayperPost and Google ads as my primary sources of income. I think I got 28 cents from Google last month. I do have one poker affiliate program, but I have not made anything off of it. I did sign up for a online checking account from Wachovia and they gave me $25 as I recall. I tried to sign up with ReviewMe, but they would not accept my blog; I'm not sure why.

But what if my little jail cell based business started to really take off and I need to incorporate? How would I do it? I could use a company like to create a corporation in Texas, Nevada, Florida, or even for Arizona incorporations. They can take care of all the paperwork for me and I never even have to get a pass to visit the law library.

Since I obviously cannot have clients come and meet me here at the jail, I could use their virtual office. Not only can they help with all the paperwork, but they can also provide a space to start a business. They have a program for virtual offices and executive suites. I can basically use their office with free phones and Internet. I could use their conference room (well, I could if I was not in jail.) And it all starts at $45 per month. Great for start ups like me.

I could use this service to have a virtual office in Arizona and they would forward all of my mail to me here in the jail. Their receptionist would answer my office number and take messages for me, much better than someone calling the jail here and being told by the deputy that I am not allowed to have phone calls.

A little tongue in cheek humor in this article, but obviously it is something to think about when I get out of jail for my DUI and have to live in the world and make money. This company might be a thing for me to look into.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Entering the Act Unit

I am now in the "ACT" unit of the jail. The "ACT" unit is a drug/alcohol treatment center in the jail. So now I not only have the rules of the jail to follow, but I also have the rules of the unit to follow.

I am not in the "ACT" program now. For eight weeks I have to be in the "Monarch" program.

Basically in Monarch you don't go to many groups & you have to stay in your room a lot.
After 3PM we get to usually spend a couple hours in the rec area.

In the rec area I ride the bike and walk. I try to ride the bike for at least an hour (broken down into (2) 30 minutes sessions or (3) 20 minute sessions.) Exercise has always calmed my nerves & I have been a little nervous lately.

There are 9 people on the unit (includes me.) 5 are in "ACT" & 4 are in "Monarch." It is a lot more quiet down here. We don't do shut downs too much. We have our own rooms or cells.

My biggest problem right now is I just can't fathom being here 7 or 8 more months. It is very overwhelming & I try to do this one day at a time but my mind keeps on thinking about all the time I have left. I am an emotional wreck.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Lab Band by JourneyLite

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Sunday, August 5, 2007

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Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Will I drink again?

I have a roommate. In general population everyone has a roommate. We sleep on bunk beds. My roommate is 37, white, and even though she says she has never had a felony she has spent a good part of her life in jails. She is an alcoholic (just like me.) She is homeless and doesn't even have an ID of any sort. She panhandles for money. Let's call her Jane.

Jane is locked up this time for drinking in public. She has to serve 90 days. When on the streets if a cop from Arlington County sees her they automatically give her a breathalyzer & if she blows anything they take her to jail. The cops all know her. She has been banned from Ballston Mall here in Arlington County. She apparently is a mean drunk. The reason I am writing about her is the minute she gets out she will drink. That's what she dreams of, a cigarette and a beer, knowing the cops will take her back to jail.

I just don't know why she will drink knowing she will just have to go back to jail. Will this be me as well? Will I drink knowing I will have to serve 2 more years? I don't want to spend more time here, this is driving me crazy. I pray I won't drink again.